Learning to Lean on My Cane: A Journey Towards Independence

The past few months have been a whirlwind of new challenges, with stumbles, trips, and even a fall to remind me of the reality I’m facing. I’ve always prided myself on being fiercely independent, so adjusting to this new need for support has been far from easy. For a long time, I avoided the thought of using a cane; it felt like admitting defeat, like I'm letting go of that independence.

When I first met with Amanda, my social worker, we spent time talking about the practicalities and benefits of using a cane. Until that conversation, I hadn’t fully appreciated just how much a cane could offer beyond mere physical support. Amanda opened my eyes to the way it could change not just how I navigate the world but how I experience it. Here are the key advantages Amanda highlighted:

Safety

The cane has become a crucial safety measure, helping me navigate stairs, curbs, and those sneaky uneven surfaces that always seem to appear out of nowhere. Using my cane would offer me security, knowing it would reduce the risk of trips and falls.

Alerting

Acting like an extension of my senses, the cane will offer me a way to “feel” the surroundings I cannot see. It’s a constant guide that will let me know what’s ahead—whether it’s a sudden dip in the sidewalk or a stray obstacle—before I encounter it.

Confidence

This was the point that resonated the most. A cane isn’t just a tool; it’s a pathway to renewed confidence. If I use it, perhaps, I can reclaim a sense of independence, knowing I can navigate safely and on my own terms.

I’ve taken a significant step in my journey toward independence—I ordered and received my cane from the National Federation for the Blind. Now, the real challenge begins: learning how to use it and embracing what it represents.

Getting over the stigma of using a cane feels like the biggest hurdle. The thought of being seen as “different” is difficult, and I worry about the glances I might get. But I’m slowly realizing that it’s not just a tool for others to recognize my visual impairment; it’s a tool that can help me recognize my own strength. This cane is here to support me as I regain my confidence and navigate the world with a sense of security and independence.

So, here I am, ready to take on this new phase. Wish me luck as I work to see this cane not as a label but as a key to reclaiming my life and embracing normalcy once again. Here’s to taking it one step at a time!

Embarrassing Moment at the Jazz Game

As long-time season ticket holders, my husband and I have our designated seats at Jazz games, which we’ve sat in for years. It's practically our second home by now! Last night was no different – we were settled in, enjoying the game, and at halftime, I decided I’d head to the ladies' room. Although Brian offered to accompany me, I was confident I could manage this solo adventure just fine.

I navigated my way to the restroom with no issues and was feeling pretty accomplished as I made my way back. What I didn’t know was that, after I’d left, Brian decided to step away as well. So, when I returned, I naturally aimed for the familiar sight of white hair in the crowd, convinced I’d found him sitting right where I left him.

I settled back into my seat, feeling victorious – until I glanced down to where I’d left my drink, only to find it missing. A little confused, I turned and asked, “What did you do with my drink?”

But the voice that answered wasn't Brian's. Realizing my mistake, I laughed, apologized to the surprised gentleman, and quickly got up to search for my actual seat. Let’s just say, I got my steps in that night!

Day or Night

As someone who is visually impaired, I've noticed that my days and nights often get mixed up. This happens because my body relies on light to regulate my internal clock, the circadian rhythm, which controls when I feel awake or sleepy. Since I can’t perceive light the way others do, my body doesn’t get the usual signals that help people know when it’s time to be awake or go to sleep.

As a result, my sleep patterns can become out of sync with the typical 24-hour day-night cycle. There are times when I find myself wide awake in the middle of the night or feeling extremely tired during the day, which can be frustrating. It’s like my internal clock drifts and follows its own schedule, leading to unpredictable sleep times.

I’ve learned that this is actually quite common for people with limited or no light perception and is known as "non-24-hour sleep-wake disorder."